A short-and-sweet review of Abbie Halberstadt’s Hard is Not the Same Thing as Bad: The Perspective Shift That Could Completely Change the Way You Mother.
This latest work from the author of M is for Mama gave me exactly the words I needed to hear when I listened to the audiobook a couple of months ago. (I was attempting to soldier through homeschooling while not sleeping at night. Newborn days!)
This latest work from the author of M is for Mama is a call for mothers to choose what’s best even when it’s hard. And it’s an encouragement that when trials not of our own choosing seem insurmountable, God is using them to work an eternal weight of glory. When we walk through difficult seasons with children and family or friend relationships, our faithfulness will not be in vain.
Also, when the toddler is screaming? Be the adult, Abbie admonishes us. No more falling apart on the floor, mama—hang onto Christ for strength and keep going.
The author is apparently scolded frequently for her so-called “toxic positivity.” (Because everything gets labeled toxic these days, it seems.) But I found her positive view of children and family life to be a needed kick in the seat of my sometimes-complaining pants. Take up your cross, Halberstadt urges. She frankly contrasts feminist writer Glennon Doyle’s question about when women will get to finally live (for themselves) to Christ’s call for us to die to ourselves.
I appreciated her thoughts on forgiveness (“emancipation from bitterness“). And I deeply respect the way she chose to honor her parents, including a father with bipolar disorder. Her chapter about how forgiveness has changed her and her relationship with her dad was very impactful.
Favorite Quotes from Hard is Not the Same Thing as Bad
“Growth requires struggle.”
Abbie Halberstadt
“What if our… desire for an easy kid is stunting our spiritual growth?”
Abbie Halberstadt
You may also enjoy reading this article on “The Reality of Parenting.”