Have you ever imagined your own epitaph? I still remember the college class I had in which we were supposed to give a speech imagining our own epitaphs. I sat out in my car feeling physically ill I was so afraid to give that speech. It wasn’t just the fear of Oral Communications making me want to vomit; it was also how far from my actual life the epitaph I had just written would probably be.
Take a look at just a sampling of the epitaphs of people who made their marks on history.
Epitaphs of a Few Famous Men:
George Washington’s gravestone holds a surprise message about the brotherhood of mankind: “Looking into the portals of eternity teaches that the brotherhood of man is inspired by God’s word;
Then all prejudice of race vanishes away.”
Isaac Newton: “Nature and nature’s laws lay hid in night, God said ‘Let Newton be!’ and all was light.”
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s gravestone is inscribed with words from one of his most famous speeches. “Free at last. Free at last. Thank God Almighty I’m Free at last.”
Edgar Allan Poe leaves a reminder of his most famous poem: “Quoth the raven, nevermore.”
Clay Allison, gunfighter, was buried with a sober proclamation: “He never killed a man that did not need killing.”
Alexander the Great: “A tomb now suffices him for whom the world was not enough.”
John Keats, poet, left behind this angry message: “This Grave contains all that was Mortal of a Young English Poet Who on his Death Bed in the Bitterness of his Heart at the Malicious Power of his Enemies Desired these words to be engraved on his Tomb Stone: “Here lies One Whose Name was writ in Water.””
John Keats, from a portrait in the National Portrait Gallery, London.
Epitaph of an Ordinary Man
Most men don’t have lines from the songs they’ve written, the speeches they’ve made, or the phrases they coined. Most men live ordinary lives. We often pass by their gravestones with hardly a second glance. And yet they deserve another look. I don’t know any of the following ordinary men, but here are some of their epitaphs:
Murray J. Charet, no one remembered by anyone but his family and friends: “Devoted husband, father, and grandfather. The essence of a true gentleman.”
Charles Kingston, another “nobody”: “In loving memory of our dear father…forever with the Lord.”
Richard E. McDade, Jr., a jack-of-all trades from Iowa: “Beloved husband, father, and Pap.”
Samuel Ian R. Burnes: “A dearly loved husband, father, and grandfather.”
Do you notice a common thread?
These men were not famous. They didn’t get their names recorded in any history book. But someone remembers them. Not the media, but their sons and daughters, their friends and their grandchildren. These ordinary men made a difference to those who mattered most (and it wasn’t a television audience somewhere who didn’t know what they were like day in and day out).
Photo by Nathan Anderson
What About Those Famous Men?
George Washington? He actually was a good (and stern) father, although he never sired any children. He married a widow, Martha, and helped raise her children (and, later, grandchildren).
Isaac Newton never married or had children. He spent his adult life immersed in science.
Martin Luther King, Jr. left behind some good memories and a lasting legacy of standing for civil rights for his children. But he also left a tangled mess of scandal because of his multiple extramarital affairs.
And on the story goes. Michael Jackson, Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash–the celebrities we put on pedestals and with whom we may secretly long to exchange lives? They may leave a mark on the Halls of Fame, but they did not spend their hours teaching and loving children. Some famous men are good fathers, yes. But many sacrifice being a good husband and father on the altar of fame or commercial success. Their epitaphs will speak of their worldly accomplishments but not their legacy of love.
What will be the epitaph on your tombstone?
Perhaps it’s a solemn thought on this Father’s Day, but it’s a thought worth having. Will your children remember you as a parent who cherished them, trained them, cared for them? Or will they leave you with the dry epitaph of Clay Allison? He never killed a man that did not need killing.
May your life make a difference to the ones who matter: the children who watch everything you do and who know if you love them.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”Many famous men sacrifice being a good husband and father on the altar of fame or commercial success. Their epitaphs will speak of their worldly accomplishments but not their legacy of love. May YOUR life make a difference to those who matter. #fathersday” quote=”Many famous men sacrifice being a good husband and father on the altar of fame or commercial success. Their epitaphs will speak of their worldly accomplishments but not their legacy of love. May YOUR life make a difference to those who matter.”]
