Why You Shouldn’t Care What Guys Are Looking For

Anna Fasolino

6 years ago

why you shouldn't care what guys are looking for

Photo courtesy of Clem Onojeghuo.

This one’s for the girls! 🙂

Recently I’ve seen a lot of (ad-filled) articles telling girls what guys want to see. Sometimes I fight through the ads out of curiosity. I laugh at the ‘reliable’ sources. (For example: ‘One Reddit user mentioned that what really makes him interested in a woman is her big nose.’ Yes, I paraphrased.) Other times, I creep through the comments. And what I’ve read saddens me. The articles tend to come from one of two extremes:

Guys want long hair, red lipstick, toned abs, etc.
Guys like you just the way you are, baggy eyes and all.

No new insights there.

For every guy, there is a different type of girl who interests him. But here’s the thing: why do we spend so much time wondering what will make us more attractive to a guy who, let’s face it, probably doesn’t have long-term commitment in mind if he’s shallow enough to have the Looks List front and center as he evaluates us? Why do we stress about the body type God gave us just because some random Reddit user doesn’t approve?

What If the Article Just Said ‘Be You’?

Even the articles that try to say guys like us all just the way we are can sting. Most of us are aware that some girls are just attractive to a wider variety of men. For example, I have model height without the model face OR even basketball skills, Lord love me; zero fashion sense; and the added bonus of a very intense personality. You can probably guess that my college scene didn’t involve multiple guys lining up for dates. But I still ended up marrying a guy who makes me feel treasured and beautiful.

Now let me tell you something that’s true: it doesn’t matter if most guys think you’re the hottest thing to walk down the beach. It matters who you are inside. If you get married, it will be the inner beauty that lasts when the outer beauty fades and that will keep the same guy interested in you for sixty-plus years. Maybe you won’t get married. Guess what? A strong, beautiful woman doesn’t need a guy’s interest to make her that way. No matter how many movies give you that impression.

[click_to_tweet tweet=”It doesn’t matter if most guys think you’re the hottest thing to walk down the beach. It matters who you are inside. #innerbeauty” quote=”It doesn’t matter if most guys think you’re the hottest thing to walk down the beach. It matters who you are inside.”]

Instead of working hard to increase chest size, decrease thigh size, improve makeup game, or better wear those boyfriend jeans, let’s try to look from God’s point of view.

What’s Inside?

Four Places to Check

1. What does your heart look like?

Is your heart a mess of seething jealousy, bitterness, and anger? Your face, the things that spill from your mouth–they reflect your heart. Not only does God “look on the heart,” but everyone else eventually sees it as well. Jesus said that “out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45, Berean S.B.)

2. Where are your priorities?

Too many girls are spending their energies in “getting a man.” And then, when the mission has been accomplished, they find that they are no more satisfied than before the boyfriend or the husband was snagged. Your priorities will be seen in how you spend your time. Do you look for ways to serve others? Or do you spend most of your time and money shopping for clothes and jewelry and makeup?

3. In whom/what do you trust?

Yes, it feels good to have someone to comfort you when things go wrong. But please don’t think that finding Mr. Right (by means of upping your abs workout) will make your life perfect. Trust in God. He’s the only One who will NEVER disappoint you by changing or being faithless. He’s the only one who actually has the power to change your circumstances and your heart. (Because none of us actually have clean hearts to begin with–that’s why we need Christ’s sacrifice on the cross to make us right with God.)

4. Where do you draw the line?

Honorable men exist. I promise. You do not have to sacrifice your body, your time, and your health on the altar of male attention. Here’s a heart-check question: Are you dressing and behaving in a manner that you think will bring more attention to you or to Christ?

Am I Saying Not to Seek Romantic Relationships Leading to Marriage?

Absolutely not! I love being married! Marriage as a faithful commitment between man and woman is a beautiful thing.

What I am saying is that it’s not the good opinion of man we should be seeking. It’s the good opinion of God. Our lives here are short. Make them count. Live with eternity in mind.