Yet, this season isn’t about money or the spending of it. It’s about Christ, and it’s an incredible opportunity for sharing the gospel. I asked Emily Thomes to give us some encouragement in this area because she witnesses to her own family members and friends perhaps more consistently than anyone else I know.
Emily and her husband, Ben, are raising their little daughter in a small town in east Texas, surrounded by people who have known Emily as she grew up, chose to live an ‘alternative’ lifestyle, and then found Christ. They have seen her change radically and continue to watch as she matures as a believer. Enjoy her thoughts!
1. How do you define “gospel conversations”?
I’d call a talk a “gospel conversation” if you pointed the hearer to the truths of the gospel (i.e. sin, their need for forgiveness, repentance, Jesus’s accomplished work on the cross, etc.) Sometimes one or two of these topics being discussed leads to a full presentation of the gospel but not always.
Emily Thomes
2.How do you initiate gospel conversations with family members or close friends in a non-confrontational way?
When trying to have evangelistic conversations, one major way to avoid defensiveness from the other person is to stay humble. If you’re going to discuss heavy matters like sin and guilt before God, include yourself and your own examples as much as possible. Talk about your own sin and how gracious God was in pardoning you. Make sure that the person you’re talking to doesn’t feel like a target. It’s also crucial to talk about the joy and peace that comes from knowing Christ. Christianity is more than a list of do-not’s. It’s a real relationship with a personal, loving God. You’re advocating for that; “right living” is just a byproduct.
3.What kind of conversations helped you as you began to seek God for the first time?
Once I became a Christian, and right before, I was in communication with a woman who was transparent with me about her own sin struggles. Despite my grievous outward sins, she kept the focus on her own heart and need for forgiveness and growth in the Lord. The Lord convicted me of my own sin as she discussed hers. I also felt very free to be open with her because she’d done so with me first. Although I had many people make me feel like a total weirdo when I began striving to really obey God for the first time, she and others who had a similar way of conversing with me made me feel like I wasn’t all that different from the next sinner, even if they couldn’t relate to my particular sin struggles.
4.What do you think about the oft-quoted, “Preach the gospel at all times. When necessary, use words”?
Unless you’re a very talented mime, words are always required for sharing the gospel. This doesn’t mean that we aren’t to be Christlike in actions; we absolutely must be. But those good works alone are not the gospel. Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection as a means of atoning for the sins of His people can’t be communicated through even the best of gestures.
5.Do you think it is easier, harder, or just different to witness to family members?
I’ve found evangelism to be harder with family most of the time. Your family knows your shortcomings better than anyone else. They also have an ability unlike any other— in my own experience, anyway— to get under your skin and make humility and patience the hardest. It’s strange for a loved one to watch you live one way your whole life and then change and start trying to offer them counsel and input on their lives. I can’t even blame them; I’d be reluctant to listen to someone like me had I not experienced regeneration firsthand. The Lord has been faithful to save many of my loved ones since my conversion but not without major resistance at first, with only one exception.
6.What are the unique challenges and opportunities presented by this holiday season?
Now that Ben and I are Christians, we’re going to have different traditions for our daughter, Dorothy, that neither of us were raised with. It’s been my finding that any time you do anything different with your child than your parents did with you, you risk communicating, “You fell short in how you handled X, Y, Z…” even if you would never say that to them. Raising our daughter in the same small town that almost all of my family lives in while doing a lot of things differently than the rest of the group has been challenging. Christmas is one of the places that difference is most evident. We’ll have a tree and lights and things like that, but our emphasis will be on Christ and His coming. That means we won’t be sharing the holiday season with Santa or Elf on a Shelf.
Although Ben and I are seeking to love and our families well and avoid offenses whenever possible, they still happen from time to time. All that we can do is pray for wisdom and do our best to make those moments as minimal and infrequent as we can. For example, Dorothy can’t communicate her Christmas morning experience to her cousins right now, but she’s not far off from being able to do so. I’m already not looking forward to that moment. When those offenses do happen, whether it’s Christmas related or otherwise, we can use those moments to explain why we have the convictions we have and point them to the Lord we’re aiming to please with our decisions.
7.How would you encourage others in sharing the gospel during the holidays?
Christians have an easy intro for the gospel in the holiday season because everyone’s talking about “the big day.” As the world discusses what food they’re excited about eating or what new gadget they’re hoping for, we can talk about the joy that we have in celebrating our Savior who has already come and purchased us. With all the zeal and passion that the commercial world has for the holiday and its presents, we can commemorate God’s greatest gift to us—Jesus’s birth, and eagerly anticipate his return.
Christians should be the most cheerful people this season and every other. Wte’ve got to constantly refocus on the gospel and it’s implications to us not only for our assurance and our obedience but also for our joy. When the world sees that (and that it’s not tied to more stuff in the midst of all the materialism), they will be more likely to take your words seriously as you talk about the Source.
8.Would you agree with the statement that different personalities witness in different ways?
Absolutely. We can see in the Bible that even the apostles spoke individually. The gospel will come forth from the heart that’s been changed by it, but how it’s shared will vary person to person.
9.What if you’ve already shared the gospel with these people and they have resisted/become angry?
First, don’t grow discouraged. Some sow, others water, but God brings forth the growth. Only the Lord knows if or when a person will truly repent and put their trust in Him. Faithfulness in sharing the truth is as much as we can offer Him in that regard. Once the gospel has been shared, pray for open doors to communicate the truth further either directly or indirectly, and ‘walk in a manner worthy of the gospel.’
You’re now the face for the message that you shared. Live in such a way so as to remove any possible stumbling block for them. Be kind, overly charitable, gracious, and humble. Let them see that you meant what you said, and that they are in need of what you have.
10.How do you present the gospel to people who know and give verbal assent to it without living in accordance to their stated beliefs?
With as much humility as you can muster, ask them, “If you believe this gospel, why don’t you obey it?” When they push back, remind them that Jesus said that if we love Him, we will obey Him. To be a hearer and not a doer, per James 1, is to deceive yourself. There are a number of other passages like these that show us that just ‘believing’ the gospel with your mind is not enough. The soul that has been redeemed by Jesus will live like He lived (1 John 2:6).
These are heavy truths and are not likely to be received well, even if stated perfectly. Our demeanor may soften the blow slightly, but I’ve seldom not had them bring about tension between me and my loved ones when everything’s been put out on the table. The gospel always causes offense with those that are outside of Christ. Once you’ve made it clear that even with their profession of faith, there is a legitimate cause for concern regarding their salvation, see #9.
For more information about Emily, visit her website. Here’s a link to her testimony: from a homosexual lifestyle to one of love for Christ. If you’re enjoying this series on how the gospel affects our everyday lives, check back next month for more interviews!